Why I'll never write a memoir, and more chatter from a procrastinator

I'll never write a memoir because A. I have a deep seeded fear that no one would buy it. Well, my mom would buy it, but I don't know that I would want her to read it. and B. I would never finish it.
Not unlike this blog, I like to start things, and not finish them. I read Chelsea Handler, Candace Bushnell, Cosmopolitan, and think, "Hey! I could do that!". But I don't. So what do they got that I don't got? Higher education? More life (bedroom) experience? A greater sense of humor? Doubtful. But they all have one thing in common, they can finish something that they've started. One day there will be a market for the unfinished memoirs of a woman who is known for nothing of particular importance, and my story will finally be heard.
That's the thing about blogging, and the internet in general; everyone is a celebrity. You can have 1200 friends on Facebook, 800 followers on Twitter, 700 friends on Myspace--oh, wait, no one cares about Myspace anymore--well, you get the point. So how do we distinguish between someone who should be relevent, and someone who is irrelevant (see also, the entire cast of Jersey Shore)?
Unfortunately, the internet has not become sophisticated enough to filter out all the people--and information--that are considered useless. Perhaps we should all wear numbers (no, not like Nazi Germany) that signify our importance, or whether or not we're interesting? Think of how much easier dating, relationships, working, living would be if we knew how to weed out the unimportant, irregardless people in the world? On a scale of 1-10, 1 being the most useless human being on the planet, and 10 being someone, like, really smart, where would you rank yourself? And would you rank high enough to have your own blog....