No, this is not an article from the Onion. It's my real life ambition to parlay my humor into some sort of lucrative book deal, TV show, or reality series. Not radio, I don't have a face for radio.
I get my daily affirmations from my gay best friend that I'm, "funny", "witty", "hysterical", but isn't that what a gay best friend does? It's pretty much in the contractual agreement between a straight woman and a gay man. He will stroke my ego by telling me I'm pretty and funny, and I will never judge his sexual escapades. Ever.
But that's not quite enough, unless your gay best friend happens to be a producer for E! (and if so, could you send him the link to my blog?). So how does one break-thru? How do you take a series of really funny musings and make a Chelsea Lately? And can someone please take that formula and transform me into a pop icon sensation? No, seriously, I've got a 10 year reunion coming up, and need a cool job title.
Speaking of! My High School reunion committee, comprised solely of graduates who never traveled outside a 5 mile perimeter of the school's football field, have decided to host a reunion picnic. Kids, volleyball, and watermelon. First, I hate all 3 of the aforementioned items, but secondly, when did reunion become about families? Reunions are for reminiscing about who you lost your virginity to, that time you got suspended for smoking pot in the bathroom, and who got morbidly obese since senior year. I won't be attending my reunion, instead I'll be drinking a dirty martini at my favorite bar, and toasting the fact that I don't have kids, and weigh the same as I did when i wore my cap and gown. In the word's of the great Charlie Sheen, "I'm winning".
I get my daily affirmations from my gay best friend that I'm, "funny", "witty", "hysterical", but isn't that what a gay best friend does? It's pretty much in the contractual agreement between a straight woman and a gay man. He will stroke my ego by telling me I'm pretty and funny, and I will never judge his sexual escapades. Ever.
But that's not quite enough, unless your gay best friend happens to be a producer for E! (and if so, could you send him the link to my blog?). So how does one break-thru? How do you take a series of really funny musings and make a Chelsea Lately? And can someone please take that formula and transform me into a pop icon sensation? No, seriously, I've got a 10 year reunion coming up, and need a cool job title.
Speaking of! My High School reunion committee, comprised solely of graduates who never traveled outside a 5 mile perimeter of the school's football field, have decided to host a reunion picnic. Kids, volleyball, and watermelon. First, I hate all 3 of the aforementioned items, but secondly, when did reunion become about families? Reunions are for reminiscing about who you lost your virginity to, that time you got suspended for smoking pot in the bathroom, and who got morbidly obese since senior year. I won't be attending my reunion, instead I'll be drinking a dirty martini at my favorite bar, and toasting the fact that I don't have kids, and weigh the same as I did when i wore my cap and gown. In the word's of the great Charlie Sheen, "I'm winning".
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